What is this?

Pretty much, this serves as a diary entry. It uses more of a conversational style approach, rather than being deliberate and robotic. This is pretty much a reflection proces that I have been undergoing through the past week after arriving back in Australia. This was my own idea, as I realised that I needed to break some habits and form better ones. Either way, I will be using my positive momentum and striving for the utmost success (wherever I can find it). Anyways, this document may have spellcheck errors or grammatical mistakes. I am rushing and typing at the same time, there is no hesitation. I will fix the common typos as I see them, but some typos I may miss. This document is to get things done pretty much, it's recovery. It's for recovery, to heal faster, and to get my life into the direction that I have always wanted it to go. Though I know that you're reading this, you might skim information. But, it will probably be better to read each sentence one at a time (when you have the time to do so). Anyways, this document serves more of a personal purpose and will not be shown, unless directly requested and only if I feel comfortable releasing this document. Right now, I will be looking for words that end in "al", so words like "physical", "psychological", "mental", "emotional". Words that end in "al" seem to have this pattern, it seems to describe an element of life. An aspect of life that relates to wellbeing or happiness. I will focus on each area and see which areas may need faster recovery and how to target for faster recovery. So, this typing is very restrictive on the brain. This document is definitely a big exertion required for the brain. There is a massive expenditure of information happening right now, as my brain is slowly becoming less and less consciously aware of what it is typing. I seem to be rambling on right now, so I will try to get back on track as quick as I can. Anyways, let me first look at slow recovery. Oh, jump back, let's look at why I titled the forum known as "find-needle-haystack.board-directory.net", I titled this, because it is what it is. Even though anyone can search for this forum, it will be extremely hard to find. In my first diary entry, I have started with the title topic of "What is this?", which is pretty much requires an explanation. So, just give me five seconds for my brain to recover. This uses heaps of brainpower, but I feel it will be extremely rewarding at the end of all of this. <new line>

Starting with a new line, this document will pretty much be one hour to two hour of work everyday. This is a daily reflection cycle, it must be constant and consistent. The good thing about this forum is that you can access it from any device, whether it would be, a mobile (per say) or a pc / computer. Anyways, the purpose of this document may or may not answer (or be of any relative solution) the puzzles of life. It only serves as a guide for continued improvement and to break all habits that were redundant or served little to no purpose (to my end objective). Anyways, this is very hard to write. Mind you, this takes my brainpower away. All my brain energy gone down into words and I am slowly forgetting what to right next. As I have aforementioned, this document serves as reflection and will contain some of my most interior thoughts. Taking another break for five seconds. I have already mentioned that this document is a rough draft and will contain errors to some extent. This document is reserved and will not be shown, unless permission is granted (even though this document is online for all, it will be hard to find). Anyways, as I think through, this document will contain the areas of life from "emotional", "physical", "psychological", "mental", "intellectual", "environmental" and other realms that end with the letters "al". What needs the most work? So, to answer this question. I will need to probe deep into my past experiences. The realm that has the highest priority and needs the most work (in terms of improving recovery time) is "psychological". The "psychological" element definitely has a huge impact on all the other realms of life. It will affect the "social" and "emotional" realm, as well as the "intellectual" or "mental" realm. It will have deeply penetrating pervasive consequences that will inhibit my ability to think rationally. I will need to control the "psychological" element of life. Yes, it is a part of life. The "psychological" element is usually a response to something. I will need to control my response or my impulse, so that I can respond in a more appropriate manner. That being said, I will now look into some possible solutions. Let's be creative. Let's find solutions. As far as I know, the "psychological" realm is not a very easy fix. It will not be fixed overnight, but it will require me to break old habits and build better habits. I have already started a better habit by writing down my thoughts. This was my own idea and I owe it greatly to myself to come up with this. As soon as I break some habits, better habits can form. Once these better habits stick with me, it will only be natural to keep them as you will realise how much you can achieve and you will ultimately realise your potential. The second element after "psychological" has to be the "emotional" element. I will need to learn to control my emotions to some extent. Emotions are good in a way. Positive emotions makes you repeat the actions that you have done to give you those emotions. Negative emotions makes you change your action for a better outcome. But, negative emotions can influence how you think. Negative emotions and the "psychological" realm will play heavily. It will either make you an impulsive individual or an irrational one. Neither one is of any benefit. How I plan to do this is with building up my character. I will build up my character by doing research. Research first, practice later. Just like how an exam, you study first, then you do the test. So, those are the first two key areas relating to recovery-wise. The other areas of disadvantage would be the "vocal" side, which is also a part of the "social" side. But, I feel the vocal side will need improvement. There is definitely a difference to what I can type compared to what I can say. Right now, I can type much more than I can say. This needs to be changed slightly. I will try to equalise how much of what I type and how much of what I say. I know I can type faster than I can talk as well. There is a speed difference. <new line>

Damn, this shit is getting really annoying. It's all over the place. There is no structure or organisation to this document, whatsoever. All the ideas floating in my mind is slowly falling out of focus. Let's get back on track now. So, the "vocal" side needs work. But, the first area of priority would be "psychological", I will need mastery of my mind first. That's first. First is "psychological". Second is "emotional". Third is "vocal". What is fourth? Fourth is either the broader "al" category of "vocal", which is generalised as "social" or either "mental or intellectual". It is pretty much a tie between "social" and "intellectual" for fourth place. <new line>

Now, let's look at my activities that I desire in life. These are the activities in my life. So, the first one is "Occupational". I feel like I am stimulating my mind / brain enough. A job will give me an extra thing to do to use my mental energy. I need to use my brain more. So, the first activity that is on my mind is "Occupational", some "intellectual" projects. Anything that I can do besides studying for university subjects. I feel a part time job would be a very useful activity. So, over the past few weeks, I have been looking / researching at resume or cover letters or curriculum veritae (I think that's how you spell the full form of C.V.). I wanted to see what to include, how to structure, what colours to use (technically, I found no colours. Just black and white, keep it professional, cause professionalism and simplicity is regarded very highly by the employer). Another thing to look at was length, you know, how long should my document be? Should it be one page, more than one? It should not be more than two. A good resume of one to two pages is enough. It is a brief, quick, robotic summary of your qualifications and experiences. That is all there is to a resume. So, the first desired activity is "Occupational". What is the second activity? The second activity is "Sexual". Yes, intimacy and romance is highly valued by me. Believe it or not. This is the second activity. Why is "Occupational" first? "Occupational" is first, because it serves a larger purpose and has a bigger impact in my eyes. There is nothing really elaborate about "Sexual", it is either for procreation or emotional gain. Anyways, moving on. The third activity is "Recreational". Yes, either some time sunbathing or just letting the waves carry me. Just pure relaxation, none of the thrillseeking stuff that other people seem to prefer. Listening to music. Less talk, more in the moment. More of just being in the moment, surrounded by nature. Something like that. Something that gives off the wow impression. Something that is less than routine. Even drinking a nice cup of hot tea and looking out at nature would seem very enjoyable. The fourth activity that I desire is "Social", I feel like my social life is very healthy. Even though I may not go out as often as other people. My social life is adequate in my eyes. I do not feel this immense push / desire to have more "Social" interactions. It does not feel as stimulating as the other activities I have mentioned. Please note that there are other activities in life that do not end in "al", but to keep it as simple as possible (for example: Shopping is an activity), all other activities or areas that do not end in "al" will not be up for discussion anytime soon. Otherwise this will become too elaborate. <new line>

Now to reiterate what has been previously said. This document serves as reflection purposes only. Access to it is strictly restricted. There may be grammar errors or spellcheck errors. I do not intend to slow down the speed of my typing to fix little errors. It is redundant in my eyes. I will find the mistakes that I see at first hand, but I will not go back and re-edit this document. Actually, I might re-edit later. Anyways, this document only features areas of life that end in "al". Other areas will be considered, but excluded from this document. This document may or may not answer the "How" or "Why" questions. This document mainly serves to answer the "What" with a more conversational style approach than usual. This document is to break old habits and to build better ones to substitute.

Now, continuing on. Yes. This is a continuation from the previous diary entry. So, as I have witnessed during the holiday trip. Most of my family seems to make quick assumptions and judgments. They do not have much knowledge of what an "introvert" or an "Extrovert" is. There are inherent brain differences, the difference is far more than just being superficial. For example, the common stereotypes that "Introverts" are non-talkative, shy. The stereotype that "Extroverts" are outgoing, more social. It is actually a case that the structure of the brain between an "Introvert" and an "Extrovert" is entirely different. The brains between them are wired differently, so both of them are subjected to different personal preferences. You can still be quiet and non-talkative, and still an "Extrovert"! You can still be very loud and verbose, and still be an "Introvert"! But, if you probe brain structure. You will find that the difference is far more than just the ordinary superficial differences. Stop with the assumptions. Do research. Don't be lazy. Laziness is not a good virtue, by any means. Here's an article that is a quick reference for some of the differences. http://space2live.net/2014/11/21/why-extroverts-need-action-and-introverts-like-calm-the-brain-chemistry-behind-introversion-and-extroversion/ Yes, it is true. Introverts prefer calm. I have a strong calmness preference. This is why some social settings may not be as suited to me. But, I will learn to fight. I will learn to overcome my flaws. I will win overall. Lots of people can claim to be "Introverts", but it is harder to be an "Introvert", because all the underlying differences actually occur in the brain. You will find that "Introverts" can sometimes equalise or outperform their "Extrovert" colleagues at times in the workplace. Most people are actually "Ambiverts", they will share some properties of brain structure from an "Introvert" and some properties from an "Extrovert". These types of people are highly adaptable to different social settings. The difference is in the most complicated organ of the body, the "brain". It seems like my family prefers to make quick assumptions and jump to conclusions, then forcing their opinions onto me by raising the voice. The opposite effect happens, I hear less of what you say. You do not make your opinion heard when you raise your voice. You just create echo. All of your echoes are unproductive and are not worthy of further unneccessary probing.

Now.. going back to the first post. Let's see. Where to begin? hmm.... So, I mentioned "Areas of Slow Recovery" and "Areas of Activities". "Areas of Slow Recovery" will change over time, depending on how I am able to find ways to speed up the recovery process. A previous area of slow recovery was the "Mental" area, but thanks to a series of "Ginkgo Biloba" supplements, I have found that the time taken to recovery "Mentally" has improved significantly. I have read that "Biloba" is an antioxidant for memory and concentration. Within a couple of days of taking it (no exaggeration), my memory has improved slightly and the time it takes my brain to wake from sleep is also faster. I will follow the recommended directions for this supplement, 1 tablet three times daily and I will stick with this habit. This habit is good and will also help to break some old habits that I used to have. Is there a difference between habit and addiction? Yes, it is obvious. First, the word "habit" aligns closely with the word "habitat". "Habitat" meaning environment, so a habit depends on the environment. You can break the "habit" by simply changing your environment. Is this the same for "addiction"? No, an addiction will follow you endlessly. It will give you withdrawal symptoms, where a "habit" does not. The "habit" to wake up and brush your teeth every morning without consciously thinking about is a good one to follow. A "habit" in my eyes (I still need to do more research on this topic, I just read this awhile ago and decided to write it down, since it popped into my head) is a preprogrammed behaviour. When a condition is broken, the habit does not follow and will terminate. You can exit a "habit" much easier than an addiction. Let's think of an "addiction" in programming terms. The addiction is a cycle, it is a recursive cycle. It will never end, when one of the conditions for the addiction have not been met or satisfied, then withdrawal symptoms are experienced. A habit on the otherhand does not have withdrawal symptoms, the process simply terminates when a condition is not met.

I may have to consciously put up a schedule to re-read every article I write up here. Sometimes I forget to type things (I forget to mention things or I do not go into enough detail). This is a draft and will not be re-edited. Each subsequent post will have better structure and formation. In the first post, there was a large amount of disorganisation. I hope to improve this with every post I write. I will remember to read the posts every night. This is my own reading material. I will need to form better habits, if I would like to see improvements in the "Area of Slow Recovery". My main focus or priority is the area of "Psychological". My recovery time can be improved substantially. Since the "Psychological" area is incredibly pervasive (in the sense that it will affect decision making, responses and behaviour), it is paramount that I tackle this issue first-handedly. Some key answers to "How to fix the Psychological area" would be to do more research. Research is key. You do not take an exam without studying. Likewise, research into further topics will be of immense benefit. Note: the "Social" area is not a priority. I feel like my "Social" desire has been met sufficiently. For example, I had a coffee with my friend Yoshio, just weeks prior to going on holidays. I do not need to have "Social" engagements everyday. I do not feel lonely at all. I cannot remember many times where I have felt lonely for a long period of time. Seems like I'm not as easily affected by emotions of loneliness. The "Social" area is a "Tertiary" area to focus, my "Primary" area is "Psychological" and my "Secondary" area is "Mental / Verbal / Emotional / Intellectual". The "Secondary" area consists of a number of areas. You would also see that the areas are interrelated with one another. The "Mental" area influences the "Verbal" area. The "Emotional" area influences other areas, and other areas do the same. All of these areas have interactions with one another. They are all independent. So, if my "Psychological" area cannot recover in time, it will impact on my "Verbal" area, and I may not speak as smart as I usually would speak without the consequence. I am looking forward to learning how to be less nervous. http://postimg.org/image/va7hlobkf/ Something that was on my mind, but always slipping, was "How to tie a tie". I finally formed it, it was legitimately one of the first things to do when I came back from "Overseas". I did some research and looked at instructions and finally figured that the Half-Windsor knot is the most appropriate. I did look at the other fancy shapes that are more difficult to master, but at a glance, the Half-Windsor knot would suffice for the time being. At first, I had some coordination problems. But, I read the instructions two or three times, and I figured out how to do it. It is not exactly a proper tie. The tie formation is not as good as it can be. I can tie my tie with more consistently and better structure. Currently, my tie does not look very symmetrical. But, I am still satisfied, the tie triangle is solid and the vertical length is appropriate.

This is a quick post to reiterate the rules of this document.
1. Strict access. Link given upon request, if I feel comfortable.
2. This document may not represent all information.
3. The subsequent posts will add clarity to the older posts or will add divergence.
4. This document is DRAFT. Errors may exist and wording may not be appropriate.
5. Do not expect the same quality verbally. My verbal skills are not as good as my typing skills.
6. The facts within this document will change over time as areas are improved or when values change.
7. This is for REFLECTION purposes only. This is more of a personal thing I am doing.
8. You may not find more information about my Social activities (especially Online). I'm not accepting requests.

Another quick post: Reflection and Research seems to be one of the best combinations ever. It is really helpful, it should lead into more interesting paths of discussion. Currently, the Wi-fi on my Smartphone seems to no longer be working. I will see what I can do to fix it. But, as long as I have one Wi-fi source, where I can keep these notes online for other people that are interested to see, then it's fine. I do not necessarily need Wi-fi, but the convenience factor is something that needs consideration. It is more convenient to access Wi-fi over the Smartphone, but it doesn't have the edge that PCs have, having the large monitor size, being able to display almost everything comfortably. The smaller mobile device changes the format of this site to be more mobile friendly. So, my achievables (within January):
- driving experience
(not yet ready for a driving instructor, I prefer Mum's style of teaching. Her repetitive running commentary of all surroundings is definitely very helpful. Her tone of voice when she does this, is a very relaxing tone of voice. It's very easy to listen to and easy to make the appropriate adjustments)
- learn to tie a tie
(that's already done, it should appear somewhere in the upper articles)
- learn to be less nervous
(quarter in completion, research first, before practicing or implementing my knowledge: I still have nerves in public speaking, but I must remember gutsOverFear)
-learn to be more vocal
(my voice is sometimes not loud enough and nobody, but myself can hear it. I hear it loud and clear, while others have trouble. I would not want to raise my voice, but slightly increase the volume of my default voice. My voice sounds wobbly and hesistant in some social situations, I will adapt to fit myself to different social situations. Definitely not an overnight fix, but I prefer to fix the "Psychological" area)
- look forward to "Occupational" activities
(a good resume with cover letter to encourage the employer to give you the interview. After doing this, I will probably learn some skills for the interview)
- baby steps at a time philosophy
(exponential growth to skyrocket into space and beyond, but take your time. No rush. You can wait. Patience is something you are good at)
- research and reflect
(reflect all the time. every action, you must reflect. is it a good or a bad habit to follow? what can I do to change it? ask other questions as per necessary)

So, pretty much what I found from loads of research is that a good resume targets what the employer / hiring manager wants. Target their soft spots. Target what people want. Another question by myself for myself: Why are your list of activities start with high priority of "Occupational", then "Sexual", then "Recreation" and then the low priority of "Social"? What automatically makes one activity area higher than the other? This is basically personal preference, it depends on the amount of stimulation, for example, the interest in the "Occupational" area would warrant intellectual stimulation. This is exactly what I am looking for and will payoff in huge dividends in the future. Another reason for "Intellectual" stimulation is the mere fact that I want to break old habits and build better habits. Even though I claimed that this document was part of a reflection process, it is also a part in giving myself advice. <new line>

So now we're looking at the other part which is how to recover faster. I am looking for faster recovery in the following areas: "Psychological / Emotional" then "Mental" then finally "Verbal / Social". The "Mental" area now has a faster recovery time. My mental capacity has improved and has enabled me to write my thoughts without feeling mentally fatigued. So, the mental fatigue factor now is much less. <new line>

Now, we're looking at past events that have happened while in Australia:
Coming back the night of January 5. Smooth taxi ride with Mum and me and no other passengers. Arrived home to dust and cockroaches. Mopped up floors, opened windows (cause it is stuffy, when unoccupied for such a long time). Dump old water into sink. Boil new water. Take shower.
January 6, 7am wake up. Eat breakfast (can't remember what is was). Learn how to tie a tie. Hang out the clothes. Big car crash happened outside house. Two cars: one going straight, one turning, collide at the intersection, wheel twisted from the axis, bumper is off. More than ten witnesses from nearby houses go to the scene. Then, go grocery shopping. Buy shallots, carrots, Lebanese cucumbers, Aloe Vera, taro coconut jelly snack, meat. Come home. Then, do some research on resume writing or cover letters. Take the clothes in. Then, time to make dinner. Peel vegetables and slice meat. Cook the meat. Make vegetable soup. Cook rice. Eat dinner. Shower. End of the day.
January 7, 9:30am wake up. Eat breakfast (can't remember what it was). Help mum pack and clean out the fridge contents. All expired contents are gone. All dusty things get a good wipe. Re-organise all items, all the canned items go on one shelf, each canned item gets group with the similiar canned item, baked beans with baked beans (we have over a dozen baked beans), coconut milk with coconut milk, you get the picture. The kitchen gets reorganised. Very manual labour. Have a shower. Back to dinner. Boil congee. Eat congee. End of day.

I spent today exercising. Breaking out my sweats. Exercise is good for the brain. Better blood flow for the brain equals profit. I wished I exercised more in Year 12. Maybe this is the reason why my brother invited me to Rock Climbing. I have loads of respect for him. Everyone makes mistakes, mistakes are a part of life. But, I will recover from those mistakes by targeting the key areas: Primary area of "Psychological", followed by "Emotional" or "Verbal" areas (yes, it's true that my vocal strength needs optimisation, but I am already half-way there), then followed by the "Social" area and last, but not least the "Physical" area. Any word ending with "al" usually means an Area of Life. Examples include: Environmental, Cultural, Social, Psychological, Physical. You may also realise that each area of life interacts with each other. For example: You can improve the "Psychological" area by exercising more. Exercise is very helpful. Exercise is also mentally stimulating. As I write more and more blogs, I will develop a sense of clarity within my writing and my articles will become more structured (less disorganisation). <new line>

Some areas that stimulate me include (but is not exclusive to): Occupational, Sexual, Recreational and Social. These are areas of stimulation. These will be a hint to the type of activities that I would like to involve myself in. I would love to have an IT job. You will note that IT is a very good degree to choose, it is multi-faceted and is extremely pervasive. Major companies are becoming more and more IT dependent. Less of the manual work, and more of the automation. The IT industry continues to grow exponentially, likewise I must also grow exponentially. (Exponential growth to skyrocket into space and beyond, but take baby steps and do not rush. Have patience, not impulse. You can wait) <new line>

Enjoy more of life. You only get one life. Enjoy it as much as you can with whatever activities that are appealing, stimulating or comfortable to you. Read a book, Cameron. Watch a movie. Listen to music. Exercise more. Breaking out the sweats will break bad habits and build better ones. You are never too F.A.R. away from Failing and Recovery. Focus on the recovery, not on the failure. Work hard. Less talk, more work. Work on yourself, do character building exercises. Do Research. Always Research first. You never do an exam before study. Likewise, Research comes before Practice. While you are researching, reflect on what you have learnt. This will make you an effective learner.

Ginkgo Biloba is by far one of the most effective supplements I have ever taken. 1 supplement 3 times daily boosts mental concentration, memory, alertness. This is a very good habit to maintain. Combine this with exercise and you will experience improved speeds in "Mental" recovery. I am now less mentally fatigued and my brain works more effectively. Things are clearer now. More clearer. Exercise is very good. I cannot stress enough how beneficial exercise helps. <new line>

Advice: Listen to your vibes about people. You get an instant vibe, feel the vibe. Your vibes are good at detecting whether a person is genuine or not or whether the person should be trusted or not. You can feel it, this is your own internal system telling you who to avoid. Listen to it. This instinct is a very valuable tool in life. Many people do not have this skill. But, Cameron, you do. You are awesome Cameron. I feel as though you can reach the topic if you tried really really hard. Trying hard is appreciated.
Let's just use my Gaming history as an example: I joined Team Legacy and overtook the leadership of the team. I realised Team Legacy was falling apart, because of some of our other members having poor attitudes. But, I still tried. I tried to lift Team Legacy off the ground into success. My attempts were greatly appreciated by "Exclusive Crew" who have seem improvements in my maturity over the past few years. They invited me to join their team. Remember: Their name is what they are. Only a select few are invited to join their team. It is a team of some very good players. My efforts in trying to lift "Team Legacy" were greatly appreciated with comments that I had made many changes (in terms of maturity). So, the invitation into "Exclusive Crew" in November 2014 signified those changes, that I had grown up and now people are starting to see that I would be of value to their team. I joined "Exclusive Crew" and had many great experiences. This goes to show you that "hardwork" pays off in profit. But, please do not forget some other skills, like "Interpersonal" or "Communication" skills, as these are highly valued by prospective employers.

Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly. Perspective? or Detachment can be illuminating? Hmm.... interesting quote. Lots of introspective, retrospective and prospective buzzing going around.

So, here's my set of achievables. (list gets updated, changed, removed and added on a regular basis)
-> Get job by (research resume and cover letter, ask for 2nd opinion (from select group of people), find job adverts, apply)
-> Aim for a High Distinction in one or more uni subjects
-> Aim for a Distinction in two or more uni subjects
-> Aim for a Credit in three or more uni subjects (basically a credit minimum - no more 56 marks)
-> When in uni, interact a little bit more (not much of a change... it is very easy)
-> Relax at home (yes, this is a goal. Relax is good. Stress is not good for brain)
-> Attend a few social events (not too many, choose the level of interaction you are comfortable with)
-> Visit some places by yourself (this will happen during the uni semester)
-> Driving (will have practice with Mum tonight, may get driving instructor mid February)
-> Listen to more music. Play more games. Interact with your brain. Make it of better use.
-> Interested in something? Do research about it. Don't be lazy.
-> Build better habits (i.e. exercise in backyard, take Ginkgo Biloba, wake before 10am, sleep after 10pm)
-> Target areas of Slow Recovery (i.e. how to recover faster in those areas)
-> Look forward to Areas of Stimulation (i.e. what stimulates you mentally, physically?)
-> Lots and lots of character building research. Research comes before Practice.
-> Do some random memory exercises (i.e. Try remember what happened last Friday)

Random Memory Building Exercise (what happened last Friday)
-> Woke up at 9:30am
-> Had breakfast
-> Me and Mum went Aldi to buy:
(chicken (finished and now used for soup), dozen eggs (none eaten), 1 bread (all eaten), 2L full cream milk (half finished), meat pie pack of 6 (4 eaten all by me), Regal Coke 1.5L (half consumed), Regal Lemonade 1.5 (half consumed), detergent powder, one bunch of bananas, one pack of lychee, cuttlefish ink (the same ink used for octopus spagetti from Italy, mum wants to duplicate it))
-> Other activities on the computer, some helping around the house with Mum
-> Eat dinner

Don't listen to anyone. Just study hard. Aim for top mark. Ask help, if unclear. You can do it Cameron. I believe in you. You can get High Distinction, but you must try really really hard. Come on, you are smart. Can't wait for university to come, can't wait to study my ass off.

"Ginkgo is often used for memory disorders including Alzheimer’s disease. It is also used for conditions that seem to be due to reduced blood flow in the brain, especially in older people. These conditions include memory loss, headache, ringing in the ears, vertigo, difficulty concentrating, mood disturbances, and hearing disorders. Some people use it for other problems related to poor blood flow in the body, including leg pain when walking (claudication), and Raynaud’s syndrome (a painful response to cold, especially in the fingers and toes)." Copied and pasted from http://www.webmd.com/vitamins-supplements/ingredientmono-333-ginkgo.aspx?activeingredientid=333&activeingredientname=ginkgo Gingko definitely helps with mental fatigue. My brain takes longer to fatigue and recovers faster. I am no longer half braindead by mid afternoon. I will follow the recommendations carefully, it's a herb found from the Ginkgo tree. <new line>

I will rise to glory at my own pace with my own style. I may make mistakes along the way, but that is a part of life. You will never grow, if you never make mistakes. Be more observant. You are already halfway there, all you need is optimization. You are pro Cameron, don't you know? <new line>

Today, me and Mum went to Westfields: ate chicken avocado octopus salad with 2 capps. Then, bought almond buns from Breadtop. Then, bought noodles from Tong Li supermarket. Then, into Coles for 1kg yoghurt Yoplait strawberry, one pack of Sour Squirms NCC, one pack of Strawberry Bliss NCC, garnier facial scrub Vitamin E, garnier charcoal scrub. Then, into target, mum bought a clothe for herself. Back home now, ate 1 almond bun, some NCC lollies, peppermint tea, coca cola. Tonight, me and Mum go driving practice. <new line>

Now, I am going to recover from Yesterday's intense physical workout. Seems like I am a tiny bit slow in the recovery side for the "Physical" area. My muscles ache, but this is good. It means I have worked hard enough. I do not plan to muscle build anytime soon. Muscle building will come, when I'm ready, and when I'm ready, I don't know. We will see. The future of 2015 is a bright one. Let it spark like a flame.

We all have our own personal preferences. Live your own personal preference. Listen, but follow your heart. Your heart knows how to enjoy your life ~life is a gift, life is a process. Cherish it.

People are sources of information. Don't let them extract information from you. Extract it from them instead. <new line>

Build better habits. Reflect on your actions.

Today, me and Mum went driving. I learnt how to 3 point turn and an alternate route. 14 hours of driving experience, a little rusty after not driving for one month while overseas. We will drive again tonight. More driving practice is necessary. Muscle memory and other coordination things to be learnt.

I should have a list of things "Not-to-do" alongside my "To-do" list. #TipOnBeingProductive ~of course, you won't get to see these lists.

Achievable for Today and Tomorrow. Reorganise all the files on my computer. Put them into folders. Mess creates stress.

Achievable to be completed between 16-17 January 2015:
Edit video of Rig vs EK and upload to YouTube.

THIS WILL NOT GO INTO MUCH DETAIL. MORE DETAIL CAN BE FOUND IN MY PRIVATE DIARY ENTRIES. I WILL NEVER SHARE THESE ENTRIES EVER.
I love the Australian sun. It makes me feel happy and alive. Light or moderate exercise in backyard with the sun is lots of fun. My primary goal is to get High Distinctions for all subjects for this uni semester. That is my first and foremost goal. All other goals are secondary (or tertiary). I want to get back to my roots. Back in Year 9 and 10, I did so well. I worked so hard. But, then in Years 11 and 12, I dropped off (by a massive margin). I definitely did not achieve my potential and it was short of my possible 85 ATAR. It was disappointing to say the least. The end of Year 12 was bittersweet, only because I had a massive improvement from my Trials. <new line>

My Trials had the results: 16/50 (Studies of Religion I), 30/100 (Maths 2U), 55/100 (Physics), 52/100 (English Standard), 69/100 (Software Design & Development) and 45/100 (Ancient History). This was extremely disappointing. Why I got these results? I became sidetracted and distracted. Lack of focus coupled with bad habits played a significant part. Another worrying factor was mental fatigue. My brainpower had deteriorated since Year 10. There was a big dropoff and decline in how much my brain could handle. I knew I needed to avoid getting a really shitty mark. In fact, the results for the Trials meant I had bombed out heavily. The final HSC test would be a big factor to push my result up. I needed to improve by a massive portion. And improve, I did. So, here are my HSC exam scores: 32/50 (Studies of Religion I ~I doubled my mark from Trials, massive improvement), 71/100 (Maths 2U ~I more than doubled my mark) , 79/100 (Physics ~one mark away from a Band 5 "disappointing"), 78/100 (English Standard), 74 (Software Design & Development ~yep, my best subject improved the least "very disappointing") and 80/100 (Ancient History ~very proud, I literally went from Band 0 (mark of 45) to Band 5 (mark of 80). <new line>

This gave me the bittersweet ATAR of 71.80. Yes, this is still on my mind even after a long time. I feel I had not reached a resolution. My primary goal is to get High Distinctions for all my uni subjects for this semester. I want to refocus. This is my AIM. I do not want to be driven, I want to drive. It is my life and I will steer it wherever I want it to go. There is no advice in the world that will ever change my desire to get this result. I have the potential to get HD and I will get it. I will really need to focus and be extremely patient. <new line>

To prepare myself, I will be making a series of general educational videos for YouTube.

I really dislike the format of these forums. I feel I can structure it better with my own private entries.

Talk to yourself more. Gain clarity over what you do.

Make a series of educational videos.

It's okay to give me advice, as long as you support my way of life. If you don't support me, get fucked.